Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
