looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
