u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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