Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Randomize
