NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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