12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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