is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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