wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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