theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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