Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
