Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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