You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
