To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
