I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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