this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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