so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
