Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I think I sprained my soul last night
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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