redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
