Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
