But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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