He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
