Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
