we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I understand Curling. That high.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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