I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
babies were throwing up all over the place
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
