How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
