just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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