Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
