what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
