Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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