Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
