"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
