Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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