i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
