i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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