i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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