I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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