I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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