dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize