problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
