he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
