i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
