boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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