she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
