So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
