Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize