These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
a search helicopter?!
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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