i think i have herpe
just one?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
