AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
So here I am, sexting at work.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
