I just threw up on my dentist
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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