"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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