She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
