Texts From Last Night

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  (631): View more from New York

  Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?

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  (631): Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out? http://tfl.nu/nikk
  Replies (87) Good night (676) Bad night (5839)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.

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  (401): Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex. http://tfl.nu/0okh
  Replies (22) Good night (614) Bad night (4972)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.

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  (301): just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom. http://tfl.nu/qack
  Replies (30) Good night (5288) Bad night (1044)
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  (510): View more from California

  And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"

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  (510): And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work" http://tfl.nu/x4nq
  Replies (40) Good night (761) Bad night (10545)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.

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  (716): I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were. http://tfl.nu/cyr9
  Replies (19) Good night (4751) Bad night (643)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know

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  (216): Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know http://tfl.nu/zyp8
  Replies (25) Good night (1004) Bad night (5167)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.

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  (513): You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs. http://tfl.nu/utqj
  Replies (35) Good night (8360) Bad night (1407)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"

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  (970): But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed" http://tfl.nu/2s0k
  Replies (6) Good night (1044) Bad night (2589)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.

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  (204): We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk. http://tfl.nu/82pr
  Replies (3) Good night (1620) Bad night (792)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace

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  (780): No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace http://tfl.nu/va4a
  Replies (8) Good night (1762) Bad night (568)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.

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  (773): He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof. http://tfl.nu/nzip
  Replies (5) Good night (1224) Bad night (395)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.

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  (501): I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual. http://tfl.nu/m5w4
  Replies (4) Good night (892) Bad night (365)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.

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  (404): May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks. http://tfl.nu/ar41
  Replies (4) Good night (639) Bad night (274)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS

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  (231): I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS http://tfl.nu/xgon
  Replies (2) Good night (685) Bad night (220)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.

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  (434): I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism. http://tfl.nu/xlca
  Replies (3) Good night (420) Bad night (186)

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