she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.