Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!