I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.