So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
