it wasn't lemon gatorade
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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