Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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