just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
