yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
