I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
