I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
