ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
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