let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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