Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
