I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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