Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
