Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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