i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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