Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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