The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
