how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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